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read my profile sign my guestbook Name: amber Birthday: 6/27/1989 Gender: Female Message: message meEmail: email me Website: visit my website AIM: hopelessxloveeex ICQ: 117499182 Member Since: 4/9/2005

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Sunday, January 08, 2006

NEW QUOTE SITE.

i am sick of icons.
and i now have free time to update.

CLICK HERE.

12:21 AM - 57 views - 4 eprops - 2 comments - email it

Saturday, October 22, 2005

myspace.

10 comments = new entry.

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Maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love.

I never wanted it to be this way
Crashing down like the pouring rain
Lying still in my blood-stained clothes
Is this the ending that no one knows.

Before...
i met you
my life was fine
you weren`t in my head
destroying my mind
but you came on strong
& i wanted more
a feeling that i never
felt before ..
what was i to do
you finally came
i don`t want this ever to end ..
but then you ran away.

You're so typical..& i hate you.
Another day, same bullshit, this is like
a re-run of some sitcom & here we are,
screaming at each other again.. you hurt
me on the inside. Listening to the same
songs over & over again, hearing the same
harsh words replay in my head. Yesterday is
already over, today sucks & tomorrow's bound
to be just as fucked up.

she said, all i'll ever mean is 'i love you'..
sometimes she wanted to cut out her stupid
heart and give it to him, because she meant
it that much.

please know that the smile on my face when
you're holding her is just as fake as the i love
you's you said to me when i was yours .

We'll wait for forever &
see how close we get. It's just
another day, one more chance
to get this right. I'll sacrifice
forever, please; just for tonight?

Waking up from this nightmare.
How's your life? What's it like there?
Is it all that you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me
& how broken my heart is?

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She's moved on.
and i feel sorry for you
because she thought you were the most amazing boy ever.
if she could have any guy in the world, she would have picked you above the others.
she thought you were different.
she was wrong.
you're just another guy to her now.

As girls flock around you,
i realize your everyones but mine,
Oh how i love heartache,
the feeling is just so divine

fighting back the feeling that you always could deny
anything but everything we know is just a lie
as I cremate this memory && watch the darkened ashes rise

you can only push a girl away for so long..
then after a while they start walking out of your
life on their own. so be careful because once
they start walking away, they wont turn back.

Her voice once was sweet, her eyes once were kind
Until a single word mutilated her mind
Her friends hoped it wasn't something they said
Cause a few days later, they found out she was dead.

This is a loss of innocence.
Cheap sex and faceless friends.
It's all wrong, all wrong.
Seatbelts off.
Let go.

& i would rather fight with you - then kiss anyone else

she kisses everyone goodbye.
and waves her middle finger high.
they're never gonna mess with her again.
the drama queen is at her end.
and sleeping with boys is for free.
she's got a reputation of being easy.
everytime they put her down.
she makes a fist and tears roll down.
she packs her bags and plans to run away.
shes saying goodbye.
and leaving tonight.
she's wasted all her lonely tear drops.

So here i am at one in the morning,
trying to be all heroic & rescue you. But
the truth is, i'm the one that needs to
be rescued.

you’re strange & you’re beautiful
you’d be so perfect with me but you just can’t see
you turn every head,
but you don’t see me.

Hey rise and shine and open up your eyes to give this world some color.
Shine on diamond eyes, separate the space between love and lies.

This is you trying hard to make sure that you’re seen with a girl on your arm and your heart on your sleeve.
Remind me not to ever think of you again

I'm leaving the past where it belongs..
way behind me. My future..well, it looks
fantastic because you wont be a part of it.

i want a guy that will make me happy, someone
that will make me smile when i hear his voice,
someone that will love me unconditionally, i want
someone that will have my friends say to one
another .. "shes happy again."

you sing me the song of my heart
and i patheticly fall for you more.

I'd rather chew on broken glass than keep on living in the past, and waste my time on words i know you didn't mean.

I wish we could avoid all those moments, when we're around each other and start to remember how things used to be.

theres music playin
but we dance to the beat
of our own black hearts
and draw diagrams
of suicide on each other's wrists
then trace them with razorblades.

a thousand words,
but none were spoken,
guess there's nothing left to say..
another dream just broken,
guess things just turn out that way

stop expecting change
hes just a lost cause that your waiting on.

Even though you left,
your smile still gives me a reason to breathe.

&& i guess they fell apart
like everyone always knew they would..

Every step i take .. Every move i make..
Every single day, everytime i pray -- i`ll be missing you .

Let's just forget everything said, and everything we did. Best friends, better halves, goodbye. And the autumn night when we realized we were falling out of love

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Since we're being totally honest,
yeah, i'm jealous, & i regret leaving..

I listen to your message
everynight before bed,
just to remember all the
hurtful things you've said.

i called because i wanted you to know
the despite everything that's happend
and all the miles between us right now,
i still think about how it was in the
beginning.

I look around my room and everything
I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand
we've got nothing left to prove

Scream silence now
I've always been listening to cries so deafening
From the bottom of my heart and the top of my lungs
if I can lose my voice, I'd lose it just for you.

Six weeks went by, still pretending that I'm fine.
It was you and I.
Holding back what's on our minds, and all the things I should have said and all the letters left unsent.
It was you and I, but mostly me.

From the way that you acted to the way that I felt it, it wasn't worth my time.
And now it's sad cause all I missed, wasn't that good to begin with.

Dreaming away the pain, finding myself high about the world.
Reality seems so far away.
Why did it have to be this way?
As I wipe away the blood, I clean my battle scars, thinking about the dreams I dreamt while he was tearing me apart.

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Paint the wall your favorite shade of blue, I hope all your dreams come true.
And I will renew and I won't waste your time anymore.
Finally put a lock on our closed door.

i confess, i messed up
dropping 'i'm sorry's' like you're still around
and i know you dressed up
said 'hey kid you'll never live this down

so, make her laugh alittle and help her get through. she used to cry and no one knew. help her out and treat her right. it's been awhile since she's smiled so bright. show her that not all guys lie, and be the one that keeps her tears dry.

8:32 PM - 59 views - 70 eprops - 36 comments - email it

Thursday, October 13, 2005

10 comments = new entry

myspace. add me. duh.

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Let's get these teen hearts beating. faster, faster
So testosterone boys And harlequin girls
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?

Well, she's not bleeding on the ballroom floor just for the attention.
Cause that's just ridiculously on. Well, she sure is going to get it
Here's the setting ;;
fashion magazines line the walls now, the walls line the bullet holes.

Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses
And sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses
At the shade of the sheets before all the stains
And a few more of your least favorite things.
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy

Talk to the mirror, choke back tears.
And keep telling yourself that "I'm a diva!"
Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box on the table,
They just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin.

Swear to shake it up, if you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young, desperate for attention.

I know forever isn't long enough to forget
The faces and places that played out your tragedy.

it's like waking up from an overdose
and realizing you're still alive.

Peoples words only effect you as much as you let them.

I’m lying just to keep you here
so reckless, so thoughtless, so
careless.
I could care less.

when your little, life seems so perfect, when everything is just make believe && pretending. when you grow up, life seems so cruel, because everything you ever wanted, just falls apart.

the stars were so happy to see us that they hovered around us and started spinning in circles. that’s when we hoped that the night would never end. that’s when we were so alive. that’s when we drank to the sound of teenage years. the sight of a smile. and the thought of what’s next. because we never really knew.

Take chances. A lot of them... because honestly, no matter where you end up and with who, it always ends up just the way it should be. your mistakes make you who you are. you learn and grow with each choice you make. everything is worth it. say how you feel. always be you.. and be okay with it.

I lay there upon my blankets & in the still of the darkness, I picture you & wonder where you are, what you’re doing right now, wishing whatever it is, I could be apart of it & in a matter of seconds, just as quickly as the thought came, the silence breaks as I begin to cry.

I will never forget the way you looked sitting next to me. && how you smiled while we rolled around on the ground. but soon we were alone && it was time to learn your taste && kiss your lips && grab your waist && feel your hips. late nights have never been the same.

So cut me up like paper & bend me
back into something beautiful.

Scream until your lungs get sore...
as loud as you can...
Scream out the anger
its your one chance to put away the smile.

I just wanna fade right out of myself
like when shadows disappear in twilight
and it's getting so much harder to accept
the fact that I am stuck here
I can't hide from my own eyes.

ransom notes keep falling at your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs ;;
speak no feeling
no i don't believe you.
you don't care a bit.
you don't care a bit.

these memories are deadly,oh,
please forget me

i should be moving on...
but im still holding on

It sucks knowing I have to change my life plans because I'm not gonna have you forever like I'd thought I would.

You're a regular decorated emergency.

Everything that keeps me together is falling apart,
I’ve got this thing that I consider my
only art of fucking people over.

with demons dancing off mirror images reflecting all that you wanted. so far from perfect, onward we will strive. take it for what it's worth, this truth that you've realized.
you're not who you thought you were, it's time to see the other side of what you have become.

just look at this cardboard cutout, this puppet that you've become. let me be the first to acknowledge, you've no pride, you've no purpose. it's so typical to think less is more when you're out of the lead.

I’ll forget you when I’m famous, baby. I’ll forget you in five minutes from now.

you know that pity's got an ugly price tag.

cause love's such an old-fashioned word. and love dares you to care.

she’s shallow like shoreline during low tide.

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You playing with the mind of the craziest kind. telling me how much you love me when I know that you're lying. you must be snorting lines if you think I’m crying.

time is only temporary, this will not last forever.

i hear the forecast ain't as bad as it seems. it should be clearing up soon if only in dreams.

tell me what my chance is .. romance is underrated.

crying, crying, oh she couldn't afford the view. crying, crying, oh these automatic flowers won't do.

I don't want to find that it's mostly you and mostly me. and a tired gun that's not empty.

all embraced under one common song. the body is dead, but life lives on.

to kill the whitest looking dove. to hate everything I love. and I’m trying to pretend..oh, in wanting life to end..what I am not another stupid little teenage fucking whore.

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5:35 PM - 55 views - 30 eprops - 16 comments - email it

Sunday, October 09, 2005

go add me to myspace. ----> myspace

i'll be updating tomorrow. i'm not going to school.

Write me off, give up on me
Cause darling, what did you expect
I'm just off a lost cause
a long shot, don't even take this bet

I'll never break a promise,
I'll never tell a lie,
I'll never be the one,
That makes you want to die.

i've got a book of matches, i've got a can of kerosene, i've got some bad ideas involving you and me.

You took the wheel & you steered us into my bed
Soon we woke & i walked you home, & it was pretty
clear that it was hardly love.

I’m a hopeless romantic. I believe in
wishing on stars ;; soul mates and
love that never ends. But yet, sometimes
I feel like the only single person alive.
I feel so alone. No matter what I try to do,
I’m left in solitude. Maybe I try too hard.
Maybe I really am hopeless.

someone mentioned your name the other day and
asked if i knew you. i thought of all of our memories,
and choking back tears, looked down and said,
"yeah, i used to."

Teardrops fall from those pretty little eyes, kind of hard to move on when you only told lies. She's breaking down, everyone's fading, it's been so long and she's tired of waiting.

i believe in romance,
kissing while you slowdance,
when i close my eyes, it's you i see.

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The word crush
doesn’t even begin
to cover it.

call me your valentine..
call me once tonight.
& i would have said it's okay.

Sure, I miss your smile, but I miss my own too.

&& i sit and listen to everyone else's
love stories and im thinking to myself
where’s mine ?

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& when I fall from the rooftops above
I'll spread warmth to the ground with my love and my blood
& no one will notice that Im gone
But deep down inside, I hoped that I was wrong.

music low, we're all alone.
being wrong never felt so right

& you wrote me those love songs
with no endings.
such pretty lips
spoke such cruel words
poison me.
make the endings.

In my memory I wrote you down in ink
I never wanted to erase your story
Even with the tragedy it brings.

rainbow needles Image hosted by Photobucket.com

I just wonder how many people never get the one they want,
& end up with the one their supposed to be with.

there's this secret i've
been perfecting about
how we paint our sins
on the ceiling. i keep
mine glued to my chest
it keeps me close like
a promise kept. i swore
i wouldnt, but you let me.

watch me fault her
your living like a disasters
he said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over.

Once upon a year ago,
She saw herself give in.
Every time she closed her eyes,
She saw what could have been.

Snapshots of priceless moments cover her walls. She thinks back to a time where she didn't have to fake a smile. It just graced her face so naturally. Back then, life was so worth living. Now she thinks its more worth not to. Why pretend to love? Why pretend to laugh? Why pretend to live? ... she' s dead inside.

So, slice my wrists
Life's a sick game, with one too many twists.

Bang. Bang.
Now I'm dead.
In the ground is where I lay my head.

I would like to thank you, for showing me a part of myself that i have never seen. yeah, we were young and dumb, but it still was fun. and i guess these things just tend to fall apart. and i hope you feel the same.

the long walks on moonlit beach
the promises you could not keep
for all the world we did not see
and all the smiles you gave to me
it's so contagious ; you're so contagious.

What is cute?
Cute is young && inexperienced.
Cute is holding hands in the car
&& kissing at the red lights.

rest in peace girl,
your death is such a shame.
the paper said a bullet got in your way

& i look at him and all i can think of is the
day when i wont be able to anymore

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i tried to paint myself but the colors weren`t ugly enough

Rain, another rainy day
Comes up from the ocean
Give herself away
She comes down easy
On rich & dead the same
And she gives herself away

So come to my window
& throw those rocks
because you're my romeo...
and i'm hoping to be your juliet.

& i'm tired of pretending I dont care...
because you're all that matters...
& i'm tired of watching you get hurt.

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9:22 PM - 6 views - 28 eprops - 14 comments - email it

Sunday, October 02, 2005

10 comments = new entry

I'm going, I'm going, where the water tastes like wine,
We can jump in the water, stay drunk all the time.

i want to mess up my sheets with you
there is nothing i'd rather do

Everybody loves a fucking;
tragedy in epic proportions
So let's set our hearts at self destruct.

looking back if we had
one more night to spend
i would steal every second
i would never let it end

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if you ever feel loved or needed,
remember that you're one of the lucky ones

you just want somebody
listening to what you say

your heavy heart is made of stone
&& it's so hard to see you clearly
you don't have to be on your own

in this dream that i had with smiles
on both our faces,
remind them once again
that you can't kill heroes.

maybe later we can start one;
start a new relationship
you'll call it friendship, i'll call it a
second chance for you

Everything is worthless, no one wants me to stay.

you could be all i need
to save me from me.

there's a hope . there's a light
&& i see it in your eyes. &&
i hope you can see it in mine

i hope you're as happy as you 're pretending

it's HARD to explain how i'm
getting by on so little from you;
it's HARD to believe that i would
let myself get so wrapped up in you

i wanted to see something that's different,
something you said would change in me.
wanted to be.. anything different..
everything you would change in me

every night i lay in bed..
i think about the things you said...
look around, i’m the one, your only
look around it still kills me

you smile for your blue skies
for those times you felt alive

it`s not enough to hear me say you`ve won.
you only wanted me for having fun…

take back everything you ever said.
you never meant a word of it.
you NEVER did

would you believe me if i said i didn't need you..
cause i wouldn't believe you if you the same to me.

this broken heart was stronger than
the words i wish you never meant

that night many hearts did cry..
when we learned we had to say
- g o o d b y e -

from the moment you left, i knew that something wasn't right.
but the feeling inside has kept me up all night.

if you were here, i'd never have a fear.
so go on live your life.. but i miss you
more than i did yesterday. you're so far
away.. so come on show me how. cause
i mean this more than words can ever say.

&& if all else fails, you can close your eyes
&& i`ll be right beside you.
i`ll be the one by your side.

why does tonight, have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
we'll skip the goodbyes.

its sad to think id love to make you cry
sew your lips shut and kiss them while you try
to break through and scream how much you hate me
this is an all time low for romance

i`m tired of pretending everything’s okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile
is fading away.

i wanna tear you to pieces and put you back together
i wanna kiss your lips then smash up your heart
i wanna make you love me not let you have me
i wanna steal your heart and never return it
then maybe...you'll know how i feel

every memory of looking out the back door
i had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
it's hard to say it, time to say itgoodbye, goodbye...

quiet
midnight
lock all the doors
and turn out the lights
feels like the end of the world
this Sunday night

you can say we were just a big mistake.
but i think its worth making
& worth repeating.

tell me that you've had trouble sleeping; that you toss and turn from side to side;
that it's my face you've been seeing in your dreams at night.

He`s gonna miss me.. When all
the while..I`m missing him back
The worst feeling isn't being lonely-
it's being forgotten by someone
you could never forget.

2:46 PM - 2 views - 32 eprops - 17 comments - email it

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